Cause and effect?

From the NY Times:

AGE OF RICHES

$6 Million for the Co-op, Then Start to Renovate

By CHRISTINE HAUGHNEY

Julia Kim rapped her spiked Gucci heels along the floor of a Midtown furniture showroom earlier this year as she approached a $30,000 custom wraparound couch that will be the centerpiece of the Manhattan co-op apartment she plans to share with her fiancé, Stephen Rushmore.

With advice from Mr. Rushmore and their decorator, John Barman, Ms. Kim deliberated for more than half an hour over details like the density of the cushions, the number of pillows and the height of the seating.

This purchase was just one of many steps in the journey that began more than a year ago when Mr. Rushmore, a consultant, and Ms. Kim, a former banker who left her job to concentrate full time on renovating the new apartment, decided to buy a duplex just off Park Avenue for $6 million.

Indeed, even after paying top dollar for a luxury apartment, most buyers see the need for more work. Like Mr. Rushmore and Ms. Kim, they often embark on costly and lengthy renovations intended to reflect not only their own taste but also their ambitions to find a perch in the social and economic swirl of today's Gilded Age.

Here's the rest of the article if you can stand to read it.

Next up from McSweeneys:

A FEW YEARS AFTER THE COMPLETE COLLAPSE OF THE GLOBAL ECONOMY, A CONSUMER REPORTER REVIEWS THE IPHONE. BY MATTHEW DUVERNE HUTCHINSON

Apple iPhone (8-gigabyte model)

Features

Much has been made of how the iPhone is really more than just a phone. And the point bears repeating, especially now that all communication networks have been destroyed in the Great Food Wars. But even in our post-apocalyptic agrarian wasteland, this technological marvel still boasts an impressive set of functions, a partial list of which includes:

• Walnut cracker
• Canned-goods smasher
• Slingshot projectile for hunting small woodland game
• Pestle for grinding wheat into flour (and flattening pemmican)
• Nonporous preparation surface for mixing blow-dart poisons
• Reflective signal mirror for coordinating attacks on rival scavenging tribes

  Sure, there are existing products that can already handle each of these tasks individually, but the iPhone really brings them all together into one easy and fun-to-use device.

  Design

  Apple has always had a reputation for sleek, state-of-the-art design, and the iPhone is no exception. For several weeks, I was being tracked by a pack of feral, parentless children with no sense of right or wrong. Cornered in an old boxcar, I removed the iPhone from my tattered loincloth waistband and held it out to them in an act of pure desperation. The sounds of their hissing grew quiet as the savages became entranced by its smooth, shiny surfaces and glossy, mirrored finish. Fearing me as some sort of deity, these former predators now serve as my pawns in the brutal chess match for our territory's remaining petroleum.

  Sound Quality

  Though I have not had a real conversation on my iPhone since the de-facto fall of mankind, I've had many, many imaginary conversations to stave off madness. Whether I'm speaking to my long-deceased stockbroker in an act of heartbreaking denial, or just verbally expressing the confused rage and fear I've lived with for the past seven years, the voice that responds in my head is always crystal clear and compassionate.

  Summary

  There's a good chance no one will read this, as I'm scrawling it onto the remote ruins of an old condominium building with a stick of charred wood. Nonetheless, the Apple iPhone has really changed the rules of how we communicate and survive in a constantly evolving world. I was a little disappointed that a protective carrying case is not included in the purchase price. But, overall, it's safe to say that Apple has hit yet another home run with this engaging, innovative device.

'nuff said ...